go do what you do best...puke behind churches
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
