He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
