Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Randomize
