problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
