nut hugger
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
