no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's shark week go big or go home
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
