Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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