Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
