CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
