she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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