I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
