at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
