Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize