well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
