I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
