I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
