Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
