Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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