I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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