That's intense
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize