can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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