We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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