just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
