is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
