that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
