What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
