So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize