Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize