Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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