My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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