ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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