He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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