do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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