Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
