Midget sex pt 2 tonight
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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