Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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