No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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