I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
