Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
