My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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