If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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