absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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