his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
