He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
