I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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