Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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