I'm jealous of your bromance
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize