ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize