It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She's the barista slut.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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