She is in my trunk
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
