so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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