Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize