Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
