remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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