the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My penis needs a shock collar
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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