was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
