idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
