So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Randomize
